Yvonne, Yvette, Camille, Yarnell, Yolonda

My sisters laugh a lot. And when I am with them, I laugh a lot. All of us sisters except our youngest sister Sienna (who lives at Fort Riley), joined up at our niece’s wedding in Colorado a week ago. I rode to the wedding with Yolonda and Camille, two of my sisters. For most of the ride we were laughing as we reminisced about old times. When we gathered for pictures at the wedding, we couldn’t stop laughing at each other. The next day we helped our parents with a garage sale because they were moving to St. George. Again the laughter continued. The laughter was a healing balm for my heart.

I learned quite a bit from my sisters that weekend. Each sister has some unique abilities and strengths I want to emulate. They are all strong, savvy, beautiful, sincere, and charming. They all care passionately about their husbands and children. All are artists in their own area of expertise.

Yvonne: Yvonne is a go-getter. (Well, actually all of us girls are great go-getters, but if we would have to name the #1 go-getter, Yvonne would top the list.) Yvonne makes things happen. Because she is my only sibling that lives in the same town as my parents and grandma, she is usually first on the scene to help out (and gets more than her share of work to do). Yvonne can rally the troops faster than anyone I know, and in the words of my mom; Yvonne “works circles around everyone else.” She has eight children and still finds time to work behind the scenes at her family-owned company and do her church calling. Yvonne is a beautiful example of someone who makes sure everyone is taken care of in our family. She has helped me out on many occasions—more than I can ever reciprocate. She studies nutrition and is interested in finding out the best ways to have a healthy lifestyle.

Yolonda: Yolonda is a classy person. She dresses well and her home is designed down to the last thread in the carpet. She cares about making things looks nice. I like this about Yolonda. She also taught me the importance of just “being there” for my children and husband. She really concentrates a lot of love on her children and is the most festive out of all of the sisters (all of my sisters are quite festive, actually—much more than I). She hosts many parties at her home (which is quite palatial) and is very generous of her time and resources. She and her husband run a family business, so they work side-by side, go to lunch together, work together in their yard after work, have a date every Friday night, and are great friends. They have a cabin and a boat and motorcycles/recreational vehicles and are often together as a family. Her oldest son returns from a mission in the middle of the month and she is counting down the hours.

Camille: Camille is the classic girl-next door sister.  Not only is she beautiful, she can do most anything that she wants/needs to do because she has many talents. I guess she could be called a domestic goddess. (Again, all of my sisters can claim the right to that title, but Camille has some extraordinary skills she has had to pull out of her back pocket that wins her the honor of having that distinction.) She may laugh at that term, but she has really worked her way into that role. Camille and her husband adopted five children and have built them into a wonderful family. Camille has had to deal with some pretty tough stuff in her life—and in the course of getting and loving up these children—so that puts the golden star on her head that the rest of us can’t even touch. Camille got her bachelor’s degree in technical writing, and has worked as a medical transcriptionist. She is the fastest typist I know of on this planet. She loves to read, and has twice made it easily through Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead, books I have yet to attempt because of length.

Yarnell: Yarnell is probably the strongest girl in the family when it comes to muscles. (Sienna did beat her in arm wrestling once during one family reunion, however. The match took about 20 minutes because they both were so strong. I thought Yarnell’s wrist might break under the strain of the contest, but she just stuck with it. Sienna had a slight advantage because she was taller.) Yarnell makes her own hand soap and laundry detergent, has a green-thumb garden to rival any garden I have seen, milks goats, raises chickens, and has enough food storage (much of which she has canned herself) to feed the community of Neola. Yarnell is kind of the “sleeper” sister in the family, meaning that while all of us were growing up, we were all doing things in the “public eye” while Yarnell worked steadily behind the scenes, emerging with talents like woodworking and painting. Her quaking aspen trees in one painting looked so real, it even fooled Yarnell. She tried to rest her brush in the crock of the tree before realizing it was just her painting of a tree. In the last few years she has taken up horseback riding.

Sienna: Sienna wasn’t at the wedding, but I have learned a lot from Sienna over the years. Sienna has taught me to be accepting of people and to not be judgmental. Sienna has boatloads of friends from just about every walk of life. She has such a generous and open heart, and everyone loves her smile and her happy disposition. Sienna studied at a hair design academy, and she has helped out all of us with hairdos. Sienna changes her hairstyle and color quite often, and can pull it off with style. I wish I could be as brave and bold as she is in changing looks. Sienna makes friends with everyone she meets. She is also very generous with her time, talents and resources. My daughters and I have been the recipients of several bags of brand name salon products that Sienna has dispersed among all of the sisters and sisters-in-law. Sienna recently moved to Kansas with her husband who is in the army. She is a great support to him, and always is cheering wildly for him. Sienna has recently taken up juicing as part of a healthy lifestyle.

Temple in Adelaide Australia

In ward council Michael gave a great angle on the Plan of Salvation that has really affected how I think about the Plan of Salvation (which is also called the Plan of Redemption, or the Great Plan of Happiness). Michael read two scriptures, D&C 121:36, 37 after talking about a couple of the Articles of Faith. He mentioned that there is something more fundamental than the Godhead. He said it is the “powers of heaven” as mentioned in verse 36 (see below). And that these powers of heaven are controlled by the principles of righteousness and those principles are what we are taught in the Plan of Salvation. And that of course our Heavenly Father follows these principles of righteousness that govern these powers of heaven. And we have every right to those powers of heaven as we follow the principles of righteousness as taught in the Great Plan of Happiness.

36 That the ^arights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be ^bcontrolled nor handled only upon the ^cprinciples of righteousness.

37 That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to ^acover our ^bsins, or to gratify our ^cpride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or ^ddominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens ^ewithdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.

Here’s a quote on the Great Plan of Happiness:

“The Book of Mormon is a book that teaches ‘the great plan of happiness’ (Alma 42:8; see also vv. 5, 13, 31; 2 Nephi 9). In profound yet understandable terms, the Book of Mormon teaches the purpose of life, from whence we came, and what happens when we die. We learn of faith in Jesus Christ and His atoning sacrifice, of repentance, of the importance of baptism by immersion, and of the gift and power of the Holy Ghost. By studying and feasting upon the doctrines of the Book of Mormon, we gain ‘a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men,’ with a desire to ‘endure to the end’ that we may ‘have eternal life’ (2 Nephi 31:20).” Craig C. Christensen, “A Book with a Promise,” Ensign, May 2008, 107

The Last Supper as part of Holy Week -- Leonardo Da Vinci

I just read my friend’s blog where she wrote about what she had learned while on her trip to Italy. While she was gone, I cared for her little daughter. During that same week I had some profound leanings about myself and others (really a life-changing week) that I have wanted to share in my blog, but didn’t really know how to put together my thoughts in a narrative. Thanks to her example, I decided to just make a list.  (Thanks, Whitney.) This is for the week of April 17-24.

1. My heart can fill up with love (and well as insights) as I hear my husband talk about Holy Week and bear his testimony of our Savior.
2. Despite his long hair and unkempt look, my second son (Michael) can give a spot-on talk in sacrament meeting (one of the best youth speakers I have heard in our congregation) and end with a powerful testimony about being worthy to exercise the power of priesthood. I learned I can be tolerant of the hair as long as his testimony is intact.
3. I can see myself (in raw and revealing moments) in the story of Mary and Martha as it was explained with a different twist in Sunday School. Apparently Jesus’s words to Martha were also a reminder that she should have been prepared for such a time as when Jesus would arrive so she could also be with him, but that she had procrastinated the preparations.  (That version of the story haunts me because I am a procrastinator! There. I’ve said it. This story is a motivation for me to be better.) Elder Dallin H. Oaks reminded “every Martha, male and female, that we should not be so occupied with what is routine and temporal that we fail to cherish the opportunities that are unique and spiritual” (Ensign, Nov. 1985, p. 61).
4. I can talk with a friend who feels God has forgotten her, but feel I could never say that God has forgotten me, even if I hit the darkest abyss (and I have been in several deep, ugly holes during my lifetime).
5. I can have a difficult face-to-face talk with my oldest (Chanel) about intimacy issues and we can come out of it hugging and crying, and then spend a delightful Saturday shopping for clothes.
6. I am more understanding of my first son’s (Austen’s) little midnight to midmorning un-be-knownst-to-his mom roundtrip walk to and from our home and Pleasant Grove to comfort his girlfriend, when he responded in the aftermath of my wrath with “I wanted her to know that I loved her and cared enough to comfort her when she was sad.” (Hey, right now I’d be happy if someone just cleaned the kitchen without me asking to show how much he cared!)
7. I can’t play the piano when there is no sustain pedal! I went with Estée for an audition for Singin’ in the Rain. She asked me to play for her. I practiced with her before we went. The sustain pedal on the piano there didn’t work so my playing was horrible. Estée did a good job despite my fumbling.
8. I can immediately disengage from a work situation (when I thought it would be more difficult than it ended up being) when another person is put in charge.
9. I can immediately synthesize learnings and take action. I read the book Poke the Box by Seth Godin in two days in-between work, children, and hubby (small, short book) and implemented his ideas into my thoughts about work and home life.
10. I can go a week (but no more!) without seeing and talking with a close friend.
11. I can watch a 16 month-old child for a week (who is not my own), and love her up and treat her as one of the family. (And I can be loved back by that little one!)
12. I have such a yearning to have a garden, and after hearing some thoughts from our bishop on the subject, I desire to make that yearning a reality.
13. I need to plan better when it comes to helping my children with their school projects.

From the time I can remember, I have been fascinated by and affected intimately, through sounds of all kinds. And one of my most favorite sounds to hear is a bird song. The sound makes my heart and soul happy.

During a particularly hard period in my life when I needed to pull my heart out of the depths of despair (to quote a line from Anne of Green Gables), I used bird songs as the remedy. I checked out a CD from the local library so I could hear birds on demand. I learned from the CD commentary that birds have songs and calls. Songs are usually sung by the males and are used for courtship and mating purposes. The calls are used by the birds to communicate certain warnings or functions.

There are other sounds that really restore my heart. I love the sounds of my parents’ voices. They are a comfort to me. I have a friend who sings and plays the piano or guitar for me from time to time, and her music provides such a healing experience to my soul. And of course my little Zoe saying “Mommy” over and over is a heart-melter!

Back in my childhood-through-teenage years, I loved to write music. Most of it was impressionistic-type music, intended to give the listener an essence of a feeling. One of those songs was a tone-row piece I wrote in 8th grade (thanks to my piano teacher, Dianne Hardy) and it won second place in the state of Utah. Later after high school I went back briefly to my music during a creative time and ended up performing one of my songs at the Utah State Fair. In my film sound class at BYU I put together (via reel-to–reel at that time!) a sound piece depicting the Atonement. With all of these projects, I just wanted to capture my feelings through a combination of sounds.

I have so many cassettes of sounds I have recorded over the years. Some are of my friends in plays or performances, some are of my siblings and children, some are just of things I wanted to remember. I was once asked, “Would you rather be deaf or blind?” Of course I wouldn’t want to be either, but I answered that I would rather be blind if I had my choice because I didn’t think I could live without sound.

Beautiful sounds speak love and peace to me and our Father’s infinite grace and mercy come to mind whenever I hear the song of a bird, the voices of those whom I love, the sounds that flow through people as they perform, the rhythmic sways of a full orchestra, and the sweet whisperings in my heart when I feel the spirit bear witness of the truth.

Challenger Disaster 1986

Two events concerning life and death have been on my mind in the last couple of weeks: the Challenger Disaster and the funeral of my fifth grade teacher. Both of these events brought about celebrations for the lives of two women I deeply admire.

Challenger Disaster
January 28th of this year marked the 25th anniversary of the Space Shuttle Challenger Disaster. The memory is still so salient to me of sitting in front of the television at my mom’s home towards the end of January 1986. I had just returned earlier that month from serving as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I hadn’t watched TV for a year and a half, and the Challenger launch with two women astronauts aboard was the first real major thing I wanted to watch. I made a point of catching all of the hype leading up to the launch and then I watched the launch as it happened.

I can remember that I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the explosion. I hoped that it was just an explosion in a part of the booster rockets or something and that the astronauts had remained unscathed. Hope faded as each minute passed. I remember tears rolling down my face as the facts became known. I really liked Christy McAuliffe, one of the astronauts, and her smile and radiant way of being. I could just imagine in my mind’s eye how children would feel when they realized what had happened to her.

Undaunted Patriotism
Back in the mid 70s when I was in fifth grade, I had a wonderful teacher, Mrs. Doris P. Morrill, who constantly praised her students and encouraged them to be their very best. Mrs. Morrill was also really set on instilling within her students’ hearts patriotic feelings and she influenced her students to have a great sense of patriotism. Because of her example, I still stand anytime I hear The Star Spangled Banner or when the American flag enters any room where I am sitting.

More than 20 years later after my fifth grade experience, I was talking to my dad who still lived in the town where Mrs. Morrill lived. He told me that she had diabetes and wasn’t expected to live much longer and that they may have to cut off either her legs or both arms.

I was saddened to hear the news. I felt a strong feeling to write her a letter and tell her how much her teaching had impacted my life. This was a spur of the moment thought, but was such a strong feeling.

I promptly wrote a letter and expressed to her how much her teaching had impacted my life. I never heard back from her. One day my father called me and told me that Mrs. Morrill had passed away. He had attended the funeral and he said that her daughter had found my letter among her mother’s belongings and that my letter was read at her funeral as one of the tributes to this great woman. Tears rolled as I reflected on how much I really loved Mrs. Morrill and what I learned from her so many years ago. Her example lives on in me.

I performed a search on Mrs. Morrill’s name to see if I could find her obituary. I couldn’t find it, but I did find an article she wrote about a bake sale and it included my youngest sister Sienna’s name. How fun!

Both of these women’s lives have touched my life and I pay tribute to them today.

The delightful Zoe eats her veggies.

The Gift in our home we call Zoe just celebrated her second birthday. This little bit of heaven brings me so much delight every day! She says “thanks” when I help her out, she nods in approval when I point to her favorite foods, she sings in the shower, she folds her hands and bows her head to pray, she pretends like she is reading when she looks through her books, and she freely gives kisses and hugs any time of the day or night.

I often wonder what my life would be like without her. I can’t carry that thought too far because my heart simply won’t go there. She was meant to be here with us and with us she is! She thinks she is one of the adults. In fact, she really is tall for her age, and is in the 99.98 percentile for her age in height. With all of the bigger people in the house, she just assumes she fits right in.

I love it when she gentle touches her daddy’s face and says, “Daddy!” Of course her daddy loves her to pieces and takes such great care of her. He loves to read to her and feed her and be with her.

Zoe’s latest favorite thing to do is be in a laundry basket. She puts her toys and blanket into the basket and pushes it around, climbs into it, reads in it, and watches her favorite DVD Tinkerbell from the vantage of the basket’s edge.

As number eight, Zoe gets a lot of attention from everyone. She has filled our home with love. I love you, sweet Zoe!

Rows and rows of books...

I must say at the get-go, this feeling of grace that overcame me when the event occurred surprised me. I was really unprepared for my heart to have such a reaction to a small gesture of a friend.

Here was the event: I was at a friend’s home and she was leaving for a moment. I told her I would read in one of the books on her shelf until she returned. She told me that she would go get for me a new book she had just purchased so I could look at it while she was away. She hadn’t really even cracked the book since she had purchased it. She went to her room then returned with a brand new book and handed it directly to me with no instructions like “Be careful. It’s new.” Or “Please remove the book cover while you read and use a cloth to hold the book.”

Now I am sure you are asking why this event brought about such an unexpected delightful feeling of grace to my heart. Here is why: My husband and I are great lovers of books, but we are at different points on the spectrum regarding our love of books. We probably have about 6,000+ books in our home. Most of them are my husband’s. He treats his books with his kind of high respect. He uses a handkerchief to hold the books when he reads, he doesn’t loan them out, and when bookcases are shifted around in our home, he doesn’t let me help move his books because it would mean that I would touch them and he doesn’t want anyone touching his books.

The bookcases can’t be where there is any sun to shine on them, so our bedroom and his office never really see the sun. The bookcases in the other rooms are strategically placed so that they receive the minimum amount of sunlight. The books are shelved either alphabetically by author or grouped together by subject matter. His books are pristine with no marks or bent edges or irregular covers. He has a great library of books and he is proud of them. I like this about him. Sometimes, however, I must admit that it does take a bit of extra energy on my part to deal with his obsession when I want to look at one of his books, or want to move a bookcase and he is not around, or when I need some sunshine in my room.

I enjoy reading and love books, but it doesn’t matter to me if a book is well-loved and gently used or even marked up with reader notes. I love a book for the pure delight it brings me as I read. I cannot enjoy my husband’s books, because they are simply not mine to take pleasure in.

So, you can imagine that I am accustomed to not being able to look at someone else’s pristine book. I am so used to this by now, that I didn’t realize how much my heart was conditioned by this way of life with books in my home until my friend handed me a pristine book without restrictions. My heart felt such an unexpected touch of grace by her effortless act! I basked in the moment.

Yesterday I felt to write a blog post about the movie Temple Grandin. I then discovered that Claire Danes, the actress in the movie who portrayed Temple Grandin, was nominated along with the movie for a Golden Globe award! Well, the Golden Globe Awards were indeed presented last night, and to my delight, Claire Danes won the award for best actress in a mini series or movie for her portrayal of Temple Grandin.

I came across this movie quite by accident about a month or so ago when I was talking to a friend about how I thought that one of my sons has Asperger’s. She said a person in her extended family also has Asperger’s. She recommended I watch the movie Temple Grandin to get a better understanding of how individuals on the autism spectrum see the world in a different way.

I watched it with my daughters and we absolutely loved the movie. We laughed and cried and came out better people because of the experience. I recommend this movie! It is now among my favorites. And Claire Dane’s performance is so spot-on! And I have to say that Julia Ormond’s portrayal of Temple Grandin’s mother was perfect.

Harvey in his home office where he delights in doing family history and genealogy.

TRUE— Genuine, personally faithful, committed, in tune, and conforming to a standard or measure.

My Zoe has a true heart. Her friend Maylin was visiting us earlier this week and got a little fussy when I was cleaning her up. Zoe came over and patted Maylin on the shoulder and said in a soft, loving and compassionate way, “I know. I know.” Today we were checking through some videos on my computer and when Zoe saw someone she knew, she would enthusiastically said “Hi!” while waving at the computer.

On Monday I had the chance to help Chanel (another true heart in my life) video tape our friend Susan for a presentation. Susan’s husband, Harvey, sat with us as we taped. Harvey and Susan’s hearts are pure and true, and Susan and Harvey’s love for each other is true. Harvey and Susan at that point were anticipating the amputation of Harvey’s leg later in the week. Their happy disposition in the face of the inevitable loss of Harvey’s leg due to an aggressive cancer was amazing. I talked again tonight with both Susan and Harvey and they were happy and delighted with the outcome of the surgery that occurred yesterday. With the loss of his leg, Harvey is now pronounced cancer-free. Susan’s heart was true and happy as she talked about the experience and the prospect that Harvey will be around for longer than anticipated. Harvey reflected that he was prepared to go into the “light” before his surgery if that was going to be the outcome. For me, only a true heart can say that with all honesty.

Other true hearts I experienced this week were the hearts of my parents. Although I am not a child anymore at my age, I am still their child. Their hearts are true and loving when it comes to taking care of me at any stage of my life. And their hearts extend love, care and support to my husband and children.

In light of these thoughts on having a true heart, this week I thought of the scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 88:40 in relation to one of my dear friends:

For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things.

This scripture unfolded to me the secret to having a true heart, for “truth embraceth truth.” I realized at the moment as I was walking with my friend and this scripture came to mind, that I must be a person who can match the true hearts around me. I must build in my character the traits wherein I can be embraced by truth and be among true hearts always. That is my desire.

The biographical timeline of my neighbor's husband's life, compiled by my neighbor.

My heart could empathize with my neighbor because I had experienced a similar time in my life where I was so busy with four little ones that my life was not ever my own. And my heart has known my neighbor since the time we moved in 8.5 years ago and I have seen her in many settings. There were no words to express the tenderness I felt from the reach of those pictures across time, or to share with her the love I felt for her at that moment. All I could do was give her a gentle hug and silent goodbye to reach across the chasm words could not span.