February 2007


One of my goals this year is to reread all of Mary Parker Follett’s writings. I read most of her works when I worked on my thesis. I am especially fond of her first chapter in Creative Experience where she talks about what facts are and how they should be used. I’ve included a quote from the chapter, along with the mining I did to list all of the “facts” she puts forth for “facts.”

We need experts, we need accurate information, but the object is not to do away with difference but to do away with muddle. When for lack of facts you and I are responding to a different situation—you to the situation as you imagine it, I to the situation as I imagine, it—we cannot of course come to agreement. What accurate information does is to clear the ground for genuine difference and therefore make possible, I do not say make sure, agreement. The object of accurate information is not to overcome difference but to give legitimate play to difference.”

Mary Follett’s list to consider when fact finding:

1. Many seem to imagine the expert who is providing facts as completely denatured.
2. Facts do not remain stationary.
3. Names remain the same when what they stand for has changed.
4. Danger in the experts’ labels.
5. That expert or official can choose which fact, of two, he will present to us.
6. Experts can emphasize the one fact that fits into present needs or interests.
7. The interpretation of facts depends on needs/desires.
8. Facts become such for us when we attend to them.
9. Our attending to them is bound up in the situation.
10. We often see the confusing part of the facts with all the facts.
11. We must know what we mean by fact in any given situation.
12. We must not base our action on too narrow an outlook on the field of facts.
13. To view facts in relation to one another is of the utmost importance.
14. The value of every fact depends on its position in the whole world-process, and is bound up in its multitudinous relations.
15. A fact out of relation is not a fact (yet not all experts can see the relation).
16. Have to make facts bear fruit.
17. For things to be facts, they must be facts within the same fields.
18. Many of our problems defy the possibility of precise measurements.
19. Fact-finding is the limited opportunity of the mere observer; different facts are usually elicited by the participant observer. (Experiment rather than mere observation often illumines facts, or is the best way of getting at facts.)
20. Facts must be understood as the whole situation with whatever sentiments, beliefs, ideals enter into it.
21. While you or I may both be responding to fact, we may be responding to quite different kinds of fact.
22. Facts have intimate connection with the whole question of power.
23. There is a time and place for fact-finding.
24. Accurate information will probably always have to be gathered by a number of people (so we can at least be looking at the SAME facts).
25. When the attention of each side is riveted in its facts, discussion becomes rather hopeless.
26. Sometimes there is a deliberate withholding of facts.
27. The findings of experts can often be divided into the facts which are indisputable and those which can be looked at differently by different people.
28. Know the boundary line of ascertainable facts.

The Follett Foundation provides the first three chapters of Creative Experience in pdf form. I’ve attached the chapter that talks about facts.

I called two of my close friends today who live on opposite sides of the country from me, just to connect and find myself again. Events in my life are pushing me to change. I can feel that I need to change. I have been confronted with some hard issues that I need to face head-on. I hoped that through talking with these friends, I would hear words that were tailored for me to hear—that they would help me see what I wasn’t seeing. I knew they would be honest with me—brutally honest—because of their love for me. And I was right. Their honesty pulled me back to a confidence in myself that I haven’t known for quite some time.

During my second conversation, I realized that both of these friends had attended my wedding. Their presence supported me then, and they both have been constants in my life for over 20 years. I have several friends that fit into this category of “constancy” among all of my changes and iterations. And although I miss their physical presence in my life because of the distance that separates our homes, I can connect with them through the phone or by email. When I asked one of my friends today how she copes in times of stress, she said “Connecting with people I love is my lifeline.” And I realized that part of my immediate concerns were relieved through the lifelines I was tossed today by these simple connections with my friends.

And connecting for me also comes in the form of close physical presence with friends—being in the same room and sharing the same space. I love existing in the presence of people whom I love and who love me. I find such delight and comfort from friends with pure hearts! Their hearts are pure because they are full of love and light. And from these hearts come kind words and gentle touches—confirmations that I am human and alive and loved. The gift of presence is the most cherished offering I desire from those close to me.

Leo Buscaglia, in his book Loving Each Other: The Challenge of Human Relationships, said,

“The need for physical closeness seems to become most apparent at times of catastrophe. After earthquakes, floods and severe accidents, we rush desperately to seek security in the arms of another human being. …It is natural for us to show affection.”

He goes on to say that we need each other every day, not just in times of calamity. I am finding that every day I need this closeness with family and friends—that every day the extended reach from a friend brings me closer to my true self. For example, the other day a friend of mine gave me a hug when she could see I was crying. There was no hesitation between her seeing a tear on my face and the embrace she offered. Her lifeline was immediate. I hope I can do the same when it’s my turn to connect.